Recruiting forum off topic thread (no politics, covid, or hot button issues)

[Devo182]

Where do you even get that stuff?

#NotAFed

It's completely legal in some states now and it's becoming more widespread. Wouldn't be surprised if ketamine is next.

But otherwise, I'd guess only by prescription. I know ketamine is already done by prescription for therapeutic use.

 

[Devo182]

I moved back to East TN after having my first child just to be near my mom, brother, and other extended family. I don't see my extended family much but it's good to know they are near me.

It blows my mind how many people are raising kids with zero family on either side near them. And it's a very common scenario. The mom and dad move away for college, then move again for work. They meet in their new city and put down roots there and start their family. Meanwhile one extended family is on one coast and the other extended family is on the other coast. Kids are raised seeing family members outside of their parents 2-3 times a year at most. I know one couple who lives in Denver with one set of grandparents in CA and the other in FL.

There's definitely value in not just living near your extended family as an adult, but also in marrying/having kids with someone whose extended family is nearby as well. That's the stuff no one tells you when you're in your 20s and wanting to live in a city and experience that part of life (assuming you want to eventually have kids).

Nearby is definitely helpful and I think important. It's an in-between solution that I think is about as best as most modern American culture can do.

Some of it goes deeper though - talking multigenerational families living under the same household or side by side housing, or building a house beside the family's house for new family. My stepmom's family was like that in Caracas. And they were upper class, but still lived 6-10 to a house on the same block. My best friend - his grandparents lived at his parents' home his whole life and still do in their 90s.

An almost foreign concept by modern standards here, but there's such a loss of value when we exchange family for career and personal flexibility.

 

[gordonr24]

I moved back to East TN after having my first child just to be near my mom, brother, and other extended family. I don't see my extended family much but it's good to know they are near me.

It blows my mind how many people are raising kids with zero family on either side near them. And it's a very common scenario. The mom and dad move away for college, then move again for work. They meet in their new city and put down roots there and start their family. Meanwhile one extended family is on one coast and the other extended family is on the other coast. Kids are raised seeing family members outside of their parents 2-3 times a year at most. I know one couple who lives in Denver with one set of grandparents in CA and the other in FL.

There's definitely value in not just living near your extended family as an adult, but also in marrying/having kids with someone whose extended family is nearby as well. That's the stuff no one tells you when you're in your 20s and wanting to live in a city and experience that part of life (assuming you want to eventually have kids).

I was lucky to grow up with both sets of grandparents in the same city as me. I’m 32 and I still have 3 living. Very blessed. My wife was raised by her grandparents as well and she lost her last one in 2020.

And that’s the hardest pull for my wife and I, before we start a family. We’re open to leaving West TN, but the influence of family and having our kids being raised with my parents and her parents nearby is something we have to consider. Both of us were raised with our grandparents being heavily involved in our lives, and we’d love to have the same for our children.

 

[Devo182]

I've seen a few websites, but I wouldn't be opposed to learning how to grow it myself.

In most states it's legal to purchase the spores ("not for human consumption").

But illegal to grow for human consumption.

Besides all that, it's not rocket science, but you do need to do some research. And no I've never grown such types, but have grown Lion's Mane. From other growers...just don't make the mistake of letting the spores float uninhibited or else they land all over your household. Just use some common sense, keep a keen eye on it, and it's not that hard.

 

[UTProf]

View attachment 560494View attachment 560495View attachment 560496View attachment 560497

Sally Bing is awful defensive.

 

[UTProf]

An article about the loss of the extended family model in the US, in favor of nuclear family model. Good for some parents, especially upper class career-focused individuals. Not great for kids and overall family structure and support.

Basically old folks - go to nursing home. Move away from all other family for career. No grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc around for additional support for children and advice. While not uniquely American, it's also something you see far less of in other cultures - many South American and Asian cutltures come to mind as being more multigenerationally bound.


Part of the example was from the movie Avalon:

View attachment 560507View attachment 560508

I get that he was trying to prove a point but holidays have always been extended families and I wasn't yet born in the 60s. I think the biggest thing today is holidays are the only time we really get to see extended family which is a shame because grandparents and others are great at helping out with your kids but who gets the luxury of choosing where they live anymore? So many small towns just don't have jobs to support people which is a related problem but definitely it's own problem.

 

[RikidyBones]

I've seen a few websites, but I wouldn't be opposed to learning how to grow it myself.

I'm all for legalizing psychedelics. I think it helps a lot of people whether it's PTSD, depression, etc. I'm interested in DMT but also hesitant. Never done any psychedelics though so obviously start small if at all

 

[peaygolf]

I'm all for legalizing psychedelics. I think it helps a lot of people whether it's PTSD, depression, etc. I'm interested in DMT but also hesitant. Never done any psychedelics though so obviously start small if at all

I've thought about it as well. Kinda apprehensive, but I'm intrigued.

 

[Devo182]

who's cutting 'em down. There's the culprit.

The suburbanites and their developers. M-u-s-t e-x-p-a-n-d. Must tear down hillsides. Strip malls good. Urbanization, reuse of prior structures and space, and efficient use of them... bad. Need a mcmansion and green front yard for every man woman and child. Only then will we have laid concrete on every square inch.

 

[Devo182]

I'm all for legalizing psychedelics. I think it helps a lot of people whether it's PTSD, depression, etc. I'm interested in DMT but also hesitant. Never done any psychedelics though so obviously start small if at all

DMT would be an extreme measure imo.

It's nothing like mushrooms or K. It is a legit psychedelic...as in lay on the ground and have a religious experience for 20 minutes thinking you're in a different universe. Could go well...sometimes goes poorly.

I'd at least start off with something lighter. Imo mushrooms have great results and are calm.

 

[SweetasSoda]

An article about the loss of the extended family model in the US, in favor of nuclear family model. Good for some parents, especially upper class career-focused individuals. Not great for kids and overall family structure and support.

Basically old folks - go to nursing home. Move away from all other family for career. No grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc around for additional support for children and advice. While not uniquely American, it's also something you see far less of in other cultures - many South American and Asian cutltures come to mind as being more multigenerationally bound.


Part of the example was from the movie Avalon:

View attachment 560507View attachment 560508

Oh, that title was misleading and no link. The nuclear family was not a mistake but not having extended family definitely is. Nothing better than spending time with grandparents or grandkids. Still, the nuclear family is the center of a healthy society.

 

[bignewt]

I'm all for legalizing psychedelics. I think it helps a lot of people whether it's PTSD, depression, etc. I'm interested in DMT but also hesitant. Never done any psychedelics though so obviously start small if at all

C'mon over, I've got some tea we can brew...

 

[Glitch]

The suburbanites and their developers. M-u-s-t e-x-p-a-n-d. Must tear down hillsides. Strip malls good. Urbanization, reuse of prior structures and space, and efficient use of them... bad. Need a mcmansion and green front yard for every man woman and child. Only then will we have laid concrete on every square inch.

Read this while watching the annual Nathan's hotdogs eating contest. The epitome of American glutiny.

 

[SweetasSoda]

I moved back to East TN after having my first child just to be near my mom, brother, and other extended family. I don't see my extended family much but it's good to know they are near me.

It blows my mind how many people are raising kids with zero family on either side near them. And it's a very common scenario. The mom and dad move away for college, then move again for work. They meet in their new city and put down roots there and start their family. Meanwhile one extended family is on one coast and the other extended family is on the other coast. Kids are raised seeing family members outside of their parents 2-3 times a year at most. I know one couple who lives in Denver with one set of grandparents in CA and the other in FL.

There's definitely value in not just living near your extended family as an adult, but also in marrying/having kids with someone whose extended family is nearby as well. That's the stuff no one tells you when you're in your 20s and wanting to live in a city and experience that part of life (assuming you want to eventually have kids).

Wow, just realized how fortunate I am to have not only my family but my husband’s as well near. So glad I met him in high school instead of college.

 

[Devo182]

Oh, that title was misleading and no link. The nuclear family was not a mistake but not having extended family definitely is. Nothing better than spending time with grandparents or grandkids. Still, the nuclear family is the center of a healthy society.

But it is subpar compared to extended family model. Which we left behind quite a while ago and that was the mistake - holding up this new American model of what a family is - it was deleterious.

And giving up on the extended family model and accepting the nuclear family as the norm has also led to any nuclear family being just 1 bad accident away from being a single parent or no parent family and an even worse situation.

Our culture of career over family stability in America is far from the best and we have better examples to reflect against.

 

[SweetasSoda]

But it is subpar compared to extended family model. Which we left behind quite a while ago and that was the mistake - holding up this new American model of what a family is - it was deleterious.

And giving up on the extended family model and accepting the nuclear family as the norm has also led to any nuclear family being just 1 bad accident away from being a single parent or no parent family and an even worse situation.

Our culture of career over family stability in America is far from the best and we have better examples to reflect against.

Where did you get the idea this is an American model? Genesis says that “the man shall leave father and mother, and cleave to his wife.” They’re told to be fruitful and multiply. That’s the nuclear family. But a greater blessing is to be near other extended family while the nuclear family is its own separate entity. The nuclear family is not a mistake just because we have lost the advantages of having extended family close by us.

 

[Nash_Vol97]

I'm all for legalizing psychedelics. I think it helps a lot of people whether it's PTSD, depression, etc. I'm interested in DMT but also hesitant. Never done any psychedelics though so obviously start small if at all

Screw it, jump in the deep end and travel to Peru to try Ayahuasca.

 

[Devo182]

Screw it, jump in the deep end and travel to Peru to try Ayahuasca.

There's a therapeutic Aya place in Kentucky actually. There was a whole tv series about it. People seemed to have great experiences using it for a range of issues.

Honestly think I'd try Mother Aya before DMT. Though the "purging stage" sounds terrible

 

[Weezer]

Screw it, jump in the deep end and travel to Peru to try Ayahuasca.

I've heard the DMT toad venom is better.

I'd try it.

 

[SweetasSoda]

But it is subpar compared to extended family model. Which we left behind quite a while ago and that was the mistake - holding up this new American model of what a family is - it was deleterious.

And giving up on the extended family model and accepting the nuclear family as the norm has also led to any nuclear family being just 1 bad accident away from being a single parent or no parent family and an even worse situation.

Our culture of career over family stability in America is far from the best and we have better examples to reflect against.

Been thinking about this and where it is leading. It’s going the opposite extreme from the nuclear family. The Judeo-Christian belief being the nuclear family of a mother and father and children with the original nuclear family surrounded by more nuclear families from the children is the ideal situation. But the thoughts being proposed as better are going to lead to the total breakdown of family with marriage being forsaken and babies conceived in labs. The only family will be the controlled society. Depopulation, saving the planet, rid the world of genetic problems, etc. When you listen to these new ideas realize this is the goal. If you listen carefully enough they will come right out and say it.

 

[UTProf]

Been thinking about this and where it is leading. It’s going the opposite extreme from the nuclear family. The Judeo-Christian belief being the nuclear family of a mother and father and children with the original nuclear family surrounded by more nuclear families from the children is the ideal situation. But the thoughts being proposed as better are going to lead to the total breakdown of family with marriage being forsaken and babies conceived in labs. The only family will be the controlled society. Depopulation, saving the planet, rid the world of genetic problems, etc. When you listen to these new ideas realize this is the goal. If you listen carefully enough they will come right out and say it.

It's more of a technological and economic shift than a religious or idea based one that caused us to shift more towards the nuclear family. If you really wanted to pin it down, it was the industrial revolution and factory jobs. Prior to that, families benefited by having more members to divide up farm labor (even further back we benefited from having more members and an extended tribe for hunter/gathering duties). When we become wage slaves is when it's suddenly no longer beneficial from a price standpoint/labor standpoint to have a large families and larger extended family relationships. Suddenly, we weren't on farms or on settlements/in villages etc. and it became a detriment to have so many extra mouths to feed.

After WWII, the US experienced a ridiculous economic boom (the likes of which will prob. never be seen again short of a massive world catastrophe). We were the only nation left standing and it really benefited us economically. Housing was cheap. Cars and gas were cheap and jobs were good. You could move out, start a life and raise a family that wanted for nothing on one income and it didn't have to be more than a working class job. THAT was the American Dream.

That evaporated as the rest of the world rebuilt and suddenly things weren't as smooth sailing but it still lasted long enough that the Boomers were able to do all of the same things their parents did while even improving their lives. However, that dried up just as Boomers were nearing retirement age and many found themselves trying to support their adult children and grand-children who were often more educated but lucky to get a job that was anywhere close to what they'd had at similar ages (adjusted for inflation) and definitely nowhere near what they commanded at the end of their working lives. That shift, led a lot of families to reverse course.

Adult children with families have started to move back home because the economics make more sense and grandparents are being reintegrated into the immediate family unit. More remote jobs may well speed this process up even more because the benefits as well as the costs will make it a more attractive option for a lot of families with children. Eventually, we will probably be more similar to some of our European cousins and southern neighbors that still incorporate the larger family unit.

 

[Devo182]

Where did you get the idea this is an American model? Genesis says that “the man shall leave father and mother, and cleave to his wife.” They’re told to be fruitful and multiply. That’s the nuclear family. But a greater blessing is to be near other extended family while the nuclear family is its own separate entity. The nuclear family is not a mistake just because we have lost the advantages of having extended family close by us.

Comparing it to not only our own past. It's only changed in recent generations.

And also compared to other cultures across the globe and some subcultures here in America itself when multigenerational families tend to live together or side-by-side, rather than tending toward decentralized families like we have had the past few generations.

 

[UTProf]

Comparing it to not only our own past. It's only changed in recent generations.

And also compared to other cultures across the globe and some subcultures here in America itself when multigenerational families tend to live together or side-by-side, rather than tending toward decentralized families like we have had the past few generations.

My mom's sister and brother built right beside my grandparents/their parents and the other half's family all built side by side or on adjoining parcels as well. I think it's still a thing to a small degree in rural areas but it's definitely not still a thing in most of the US (just more common for those of us with connections to rural counties). Some of it was that transition from farming to regular jobs tho as in all those situations it was one farmstead being divided up amongst family members. Not everyone gets to stay though because most of the places where there's enough land to do this there just aren't enough jobs to support staying.

 

[Nash_Vol97]

There's a therapeutic Aya place in Kentucky actually. There was a whole tv series about it. People seemed to have great experiences using it for a range of issues.

Honestly think I'd try Mother Aya before DMT. Though the "purging stage" sounds terrible

Well yeah, that’s the devil being purged from your body

 

[SweetasSoda]

It's more of a technological and economic shift than a religious or idea based one that caused us to shift more towards the nuclear family. If you really wanted to pin it down, it was the industrial revolution and factory jobs. Prior to that, families benefited by having more members to divide up farm labor (even further back we benefited from having more members and an extended tribe for hunter/gathering duties). When we become wage slaves is when it's suddenly no longer beneficial from a price standpoint/labor standpoint to have a large families and larger extended family relationships. Suddenly, we weren't on farms or on settlements/in villages etc. and it became a detriment to have so many extra mouths to feed.

After WWII, the US experienced a ridiculous economic boom (the likes of which will prob. never be seen again short of a massive world catastrophe). We were the only nation left standing and it really benefited us economically. Housing was cheap. Cars and gas were cheap and jobs were good. You could move out, start a life and raise a family that wanted for nothing on one income and it didn't have to be more than a working class job. THAT was the American Dream.

That evaporated as the rest of the world rebuilt and suddenly things weren't as smooth sailing but it still lasted long enough that the Boomers were able to do all of the same things their parents did while even improving their lives. However, that dried up just as Boomers were nearing retirement age and many found themselves trying to support their adult children and grand-children who were often more educated but lucky to get a job that was anywhere close to what they'd had at similar ages (adjusted for inflation) and definitely nowhere near what they commanded at the end of their working lives. That shift, led a lot of families to reverse course.

Adult children with families have started to move back home because the economics make more sense and grandparents are being reintegrated into the immediate family unit. More remote jobs may well speed this process up even more because the benefits as well as the costs will make it a more attractive option for a lot of families with children. Eventually, we will probably be more similar to some of our European cousins and southern neighbors that still incorporate the larger family unit.

I think you missed my point completely. All of that history is absolutely true, but….

The nuclear family is still the center. It is not a bad, evil thing that we need to dump and move forward into the brave new world of no marriages and factory created babies.

The nuclear family is where it was and should continue. Father, mother, and children. Those children create their own nuclear family. This is where the recent history of moving away from extended family came in and has caused problems.

Trust me I am all for extended family. I’m Irish. Live a few miles from where I grew up, and my dad grew up and his dad, and his dad. Would have my kids on either side of me, but they’re about 20 minutes away. So I agree with all that except the part about the nuclear family. The nuclear family is as good as the extended family.