Slips of the tongue

#102
#102
joevol33 said:
I forgot about this thread, it may be where I told my story in her thread
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I forgot about it too. I was typing a story in her thread and thought, wait...I've done this before.

There are some really good ones in that thread.
 
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#103
#103
MyBloodRunnethOrange said:
When my oldest daughter was 18 mos we were in a very crowded grocery store. After she had an accident she looked at my wife and said "Mommy, I chit my pants. Will you clean my nasty a**". Needless to say the reations were all over the place from people laughing hysterically to others looking at us like we were pure evil.
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Cyclopskiller said:
😡
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Sure miss these guys
 
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#106
#106
When I was in the investment business, I accidentally left a message that was pretty embarrassing. The client was a city public employee pension fund that we managed $52 million for. They terminated us (for political reasons, not performance) and we explained that by the very nature of our low liquidity portfolio we could save them money if we liquidated the portfolio for them. They chose an outside vendor to liquidate and we explained that it was very much in their best interest to slowly and carefully liquidate the positions so as not to move prices greatly.

Well the vendor blew out all the positions at one time. My trader came running in to tell me what was happening. Now here it comes, I called the CFO to let him know what was happening. I left a message and hung up (OR THOUGHT I HAD HUNG UP) turned out I hit the wrong button and put it on SPEAKER. I asked my trader how much it was costing the client and he said "looks like about $2 million" That's when I saw the speaker was on...
 
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#107
#107
It's not a slip of the tongue, but I was calling a vender that I knew the 1-800 phone number by memory. I pressed the speaker phone, dialed the number, but transposed the last two digits. The number that I dialed was a phone sex number. My secretary yells, who are you calling, that is not appropriate at work. It was quite amusing.
 
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#108
#108
GAVol said:
I played in a golf tournament sponsored by my Dad's company and won the prize for Longest Drive. My Dad's secretary came up to me afterward and said "I heard the good news. congratulations."

My ego told me that clearly she was talking about that monstrous drive I had hit. She was, in fact, referencing the fact that my wife was pregnant which explains why her mouth dropped wide open when I replied "Yeah. I just got up there and hit it as hard as I could."
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Gold, Pure Gold! Thank you for sharing!
 
#110
#110
vader said:
Several years ago I was going to the grocery store and my wife asked me to buy some pancake mix along with quite a bit of other stuff.

As the guy was scanning the items, he noticed that the top of the pancake mix has a small tear in it and some pancake mix puffed out when he picked it up.

I said, "Thanks man, good eye"

I looked at him and he only had one working eye. The other one was blind and had that milky look. I realized how it sounded and was mortified. It was awkward.
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Just now seeing this after 5 years . . . It probably reveals a lot about me that I love stuff like this lol.
 
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#113
#113
I work in a 911 center. During the fall we get a lot of calls from people wanting burn permits to burn brush/leaves and we have to refer them to Georgia Forestry to get one. This was about 12 years ago or more, GFC had just went to a toll free hotline for permits. The first weekend they were using it I messed up the number. All weekend i was giving out 1-888-ok-2burn, I must have given it to 30 people all weekend. Well come Sunday afternoon I get a pissed off caller call back. She was offended "did I think it was funny giving her a phone sex hotline number?". Turned out GFC number was 877 NOT 888. I checked and yep 888 goes to a very graphic phone sex add. Ooops , I'm just shocked it took from Friday morning to Sunday afternoon before someone called back....... some people must have liked the number.
 
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#114
#114
chatsworth_vol said:
I work in a 911 center. During the fall we get a lot of calls from people wanting burn permits to burn brush/leaves and we have to refer them to Georgia Forestry to get one. This was about 12 years ago or more, GFC had just went to a toll free hotline for permits. The first weekend they were using it I messed up the number. All weekend i was giving out 1-888-ok-2burn, I must have given it to 30 people all weekend. Well come Sunday afternoon I get a pissed off caller call back. She was offended "did I think it was funny giving her a phone sex hotline number?". Turned out GFC number was 877 NOT 888. I checked and yep 888 goes to a very graphic phone sex add. Ooops , I'm just shocked it took from Friday morning to Sunday afternoon before someone called back....... some people must have liked the number.
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Outstanding work!
 
#115
#115
A few years ago, I had to type a very important school-related email to a "Dr. Penix."
Only I didn't type "Penix."

Similar to Chatsworth, I messed up a phone number. This was before email and even Internet updates on school closings. Our county had an automated line to call to see if a decision had been made about school the next day (for snow). The number was xxx-xxx-EDUC or something like that. I didn't remember what the last four numbers were. The kids were bugging me about what's that number, what's that number. I was like OH ****,I THINK it's xxx-xxx-SNOW, but don't write that down.

You can guess what happened. HAHA
 
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#116
#116
McDad said:
I just left a message on a client's voicemail. I wished him a good week of head. I meant to say a good week AHEAD. Very embarrassing. I hope neither his secretary nor his wife listens to that message.

What amusing, awkward, or embarrassing things have you accidentally uttered?
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Sounds like you really care about your clients. Went on a date years ago with this chick and We went to see the matrix 2. I had to rip a giant fart and thought no one would hear it because the movie was incredibly loud. As soon as I did it, the movie quickly changed from a rapid gun fire scene to monotone Keanu Reeves dialogue. The fart was loud and everyone heard it including this chick. Never got that second date.
 
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#117
#117
I had a buddy that had a vasectomy and a bunionectomy within a few weeks of each other. The clinics were across the road from each other. He had his sperm sample for his follow up appointment with his urologist.

You guessed right, he walks into the orthopedic clinic and tells the secretary what he just placed on her counter and told her he was there for his appointment. She screamed and backed away from the counter. He began to realize his egregious error. He apologized and ran out of the clinic. The next week follow up with his orthopedic surgeon was quite awkward. šŸ˜‚.

This isnā€™t quite a slip of the tongue but I think it fits nicely in this thread.
 
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