What are legitimate reasons for divorce?

#226
#226
sjt18 said:
Christ submitted to die on the cross... I don't think asking spouses to submit to one another compares, do you?
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This would be valid if you were arguing with another Christian.

Alas...

We're stuck on this word. We're clearly going to have to agree to disagree on our concept of submission, because our use of it is making this debate more and more nebulous by the minute.

sjt18 said:
Not necessarily. I love my wife. I don't accept some occasional behaviors but rather tolerate them. She does the same. Through love, we try to help each other change.
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Why does there HAVE to be change? Can someone honestly say they love their spouse if they EXPECT a changed version of who they originally fell in love with? Growing is one thing, but change is another.

People have different approaches to love and relationships. Personally, I subscribe to a more independent style. I don't spend every day with my girlfriend. Never did, even when we started dating 3 years ago. We have separate social circles. We have separate hobbies, activities, and interests. It's probably weird to you, but that's how I hope to live one day when I find myself married. We only see each other on average about 3-4 hours a day, and that's perfect to me.

sjt18 said:
At what point did I say that it didn't? Thing is though... you only control you. If you love, you can't play "Let's Make a Deal"... you have to commit without expectation of pay back.

The relationship cannot work unless both make a full commitment.
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We've been going at it too long... we're lost in a forest of misunderstanding and unintentional agreement.

I never expect to get back what I put in. That's why a thriving relationship is one that requires less work and mental strain... which stems from both parties being content/tolerant/accepting (pick your poison) of one another.

I'll finish later... I have to take my great dane to the vet to get a little somethin' somethin' snipped so he doesn't have to worry about monogamy.
 
#227
#227
sjt18 said:
No. Not according to the NT. According the NT, the unredeemed are rebellious enemies of God by their willful choice to sin and serve self rather than God.

In Romans 8 and in other places, we are told that we must be "adopted".

As for the rest, if you want to have a conversation then I am willing. If you want to argue then I am finished.
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I'm just looking for logic in a sea of faith. Some of this just seems so bunk.
 
#228
#228
DinkinFlicka said:
Why does there HAVE to be change? Can someone honestly say they love their spouse if they EXPECT a changed version of who they originally fell in love with? Growing is one thing, but change is another.
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No. It isn't. When something grows, by definition it changes and transforms into something different than before. You are trying to hard to disagree it seems.
 
#229
#229
DinkinFlicka said:
I'm just looking for logic in a sea of faith. Some of this just seems so bunk.
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Be specific and I will answer the best I can. Josh McDowell is a widely known Christian apologist. He started out an atheist determined to prove Christianity false. One of his main contentions is that Christianity is a "reasonable" faith. It is internally consistent and has a valid "economy" (My word not his. I can't remeber exactly how he stated it but basically it balances against itself).
 
#231
#231
Define marriage. That's the key here. Marriage by the state's version or married by God's version?

Personally, I think the word marriage holds no weight what-so-ever. The divorce rate is so high anymore and people get married after barely knowing each other. Alot of people who stay married cheat on their spouses. Technically, my wife and I are not legally married. We're not married because I placed all of my assets in her name in case I am ever sued or get hit by the government with some stupid million dollar fine. Yeah, the corp veil and all but it can be broken. On paper, I own nothing. Anyways, I'm as married as you can be in God's eyes though. We have 3 kids and we're together forever. We may never actually get married though.
 
#232
#232
Ihatethebuckeyes said:
Define marriage. That's the key here. Marriage by the state's version or married by God's version?

Personally, I think the word marriage holds no weight what-so-ever. The divorce rate is so high anymore and people get married after barely knowing each other. Alot of people who stay married cheat on their spouses. Technically, my wife and I are not legally married. We're not married because I placed all of my assets in her name in case I am ever sued or get hit by the government with some stupid million dollar fine. Yeah, the corp veil and all but it can be broken. On paper, I own nothing. Anyways, I'm as married as you can be in God's eyes though. We have 3 kids and we're together forever. We may never actually get married though.
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Howabout being married on YOUR terms? (responding to the first part of your post)

I personally define marriage as spending an extensive period of time with someone you have no intention of leaving, screwing around on, and/or possibly raising a family with.

The state defines it with legalities. God defines it with a verse. The former is a tax-break and the latter is a ceremony. I personally subscribe to a self-definition of marriage; being with someone you love dearly.
 
#235
#235
LOL at SS. Seriously? Social security? My SS wouldn't make my car payment. I doubt it's even going to be there.
I hope your not planning on SS being there for your retirement if you any younger than 55.
 
#236
#236
Ihatethebuckeyes said:
We're not married because I placed all of my assets in her name in case I am ever sued or get hit by the government with some stupid million dollar fine.
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is this a likely situation? you realize if you are common law they can go after her anyway. particurally if it's obvious you gave her all your money.
 
#237
#237
Ihatethebuckeyes said:
Define marriage. That's the key here. Marriage by the state's version or married by God's version?

Personally, I think the word marriage holds no weight what-so-ever. The divorce rate is so high anymore and people get married after barely knowing each other. Alot of people who stay married cheat on their spouses. Technically, my wife and I are not legally married. We're not married because I placed all of my assets in her name in case I am ever sued or get hit by the government with some stupid million dollar fine. Yeah, the corp veil and all but it can be broken. On paper, I own nothing. Anyways, I'm as married as you can be in God's eyes though. We have 3 kids and we're together forever. We may never actually get married though.
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Really? When Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4, he revealed something very important, something we often miss in this passage. In verses 17-18, Jesus said to the woman, "You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly." The woman had been hiding the fact that the man she was living with was not her husband. According to the New Bible Commentary notes on this passage of Scripture, Common Law Marriage had no religious support in the Jewish faith. Living with a person in sexual union did not constitute a "husband and wife" relationship. Jesus made that plain here. As Christians, it is important to focus on the true purpose of marriage when considering the wedding ceremony. Although the details are ultimately between the couple and God, the scriptural example encourages believers to enter into marriage in a way that honors God's covenant relationship, submits to the laws of God first and then the laws of the land, and gives public demonstration of the holy commitment that is being made. This can be carried out in a simple, private ceremony with only a few witnesses, or a large traditional wedding.

The details are not what's important, but rather, the couple's covenant commitment before God and men.
 
#238
#238
droski said:
is this a likely situation? you realize if you are common law they can go after her anyway. particurally if it's obvious you gave her all your money.
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exactly...I think for Tennessee it's 8 years for common law marriage
 
#239
#239
Ihatethebuckeyes said:
LOL at SS. Seriously? Social security? My SS wouldn't make my car payment. I doubt it's even going to be there.
I hope your not planning on SS being there for your retirement if you any younger than 55.
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If my kids only wanted to play with the box that my wife was delivered in, instead of with their actual Christmas presents, I guess I'd be testy, too.
 
#241
#241
Ihatethebuckeyes said:
Define marriage. That's the key here. Marriage by the state's version or married by God's version?

Personally, I think the word marriage holds no weight what-so-ever. The divorce rate is so high anymore and people get married after barely knowing each other. Alot of people who stay married cheat on their spouses. Technically, my wife and I are not legally married. We're not married because I placed all of my assets in her name in case I am ever sued or get hit by the government with some stupid million dollar fine. Yeah, the corp veil and all but it can be broken. On paper, I own nothing. Anyways, I'm as married as you can be in God's eyes though. We have 3 kids and we're together forever. We may never actually get married though.
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So if she were to ever get tired of you being around she wouldn't even have to give half to the attorneys? She could keep the entire 100% of the estate to herself? That's a nice setup for her.
 
#242
#242
Vol423 said:
So if she were to ever get tired of you being around she wouldn't even have to give half to the attorneys? She could keep the entire 100% of the estate to herself? That's a nice setup for her.
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Yes and no. I still legally control the money. She's not going anywhere though. She loved me when I made nothing and couldn't even afford McDonalds.
 
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#243
#243
droski said:
is this a likely situation? you realize if you are common law they can go after her anyway. particurally if it's obvious you gave her all your money.
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TN does not have common law. We have also never lived in a state where common law exist therefore it cannot carry over. Only 11 states still allow it.

I didn't give her my money. I'd be double taxed on most of it if I did that. I paid her. I pay myself the living expenses for the year. All the food, gas, utilities, run money, etc for the family. I then pay her all money over the top. It was not gifted. She's on the books as a 1099 wage earner. It's all 100% above board.

"It was a great day when I learned about trust funds," my good friend Gus.
 
#244
#244
superdave1984 said:
Really? When Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4, he revealed something very important, something we often miss in this passage. In verses 17-18, Jesus said to the woman, "You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly." The woman had been hiding the fact that the man she was living with was not her husband. According to the New Bible Commentary notes on this passage of Scripture, Common Law Marriage had no religious support in the Jewish faith. Living with a person in sexual union did not constitute a "husband and wife" relationship. Jesus made that plain here. As Christians, it is important to focus on the true purpose of marriage when considering the wedding ceremony. Although the details are ultimately between the couple and God, the scriptural example encourages believers to enter into marriage in a way that honors God's covenant relationship, submits to the laws of God first and then the laws of the land, and gives public demonstration of the holy commitment that is being made. This can be carried out in a simple, private ceremony with only a few witnesses, or a large traditional wedding.

The details are not what's important, but rather, the couple's covenant commitment before God and men.
Click to expand...

Ceremony. No state documents though. I got it on DVD. It was a nice day.
 
#245
#245
So your knocking boots with your employee? And what does she, as your employee, get paid to do?
 
#246
#246
Ihatethebuckeyes said:
TN does not have common law. We have also never lived in a state where common law exist therefore it cannot carry over. Only 11 states still allow it.

I didn't give her my money. I'd be double taxed on most of it if I did that. I paid her. I pay myself the living expenses for the year. All the food, gas, utilities, run money, etc for the family. I then pay her all money over the top. It was not gifted. She's on the books as a 1099 wage earner. It's all 100% above board.

"It was a great day when I learned about trust funds," my good friend Gus.
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Sorry, but if you've got to jump through all these hoops to try to shield yourself from litigation because of what you're doing, then you need to find another line of business IMHO. Also, if you "legally control the money", then I find it difficult to believe that you would have much success fending off creditors if they did sue you.
 
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#247
#247
I don't understand the whole thing, but then it isn't my area. Seems flimsy, if they really wanted it.
 
#248
#248
Ihatethebuckeyes said:
TN does not have common law. We have also never lived in a state where common law exist therefore it cannot carry over. Only 11 states still allow it.

I didn't give her my money. I'd be double taxed on most of it if I did that. I paid her. I pay myself the living expenses for the year. All the food, gas, utilities, run money, etc for the family. I then pay her all money over the top. It was not gifted. She's on the books as a 1099 wage earner. It's all 100% above board.

"It was a great day when I learned about trust funds," my good friend Gus.
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Are you an attorney?
 
#250
#250
Vol423 said:
Sorry, but if you've got to jump through all these hoops to try to shield yourself from litigation because of what you're doing, then you need to find another line of business IMHO. Also, if you "legally control the money", then I find it difficult to believe that you would have much success fending off creditors if they did sue you.
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This thread was not intended to discuss trust laws and anti-trust laws and how to shield ones self one step beyond the corporate veil. I made a comment and it was only intended to show my view on marriage.

I am not a lawyer. I simply do what my lawyer and CPA say I can do to legally protect myself to all exposures. Do I push the envelope as far as they say I can? Of course, I do. That's part of the fun of life. Getting away with murder in broad daylight.
 
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