What are legitimate reasons for divorce?

#52
#52
Yes, I specifically was hoping this would eventually include a biblical discussion. The couple that sparked me to start this thread are pretty religious.
 
#53
#53
sjt18 said:
The Bible gives two legitimate reasons: fornication and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. Both are probably broader than most conservatives generally allow.

Fornication involves a wide range of sexual activities that violate fidelity to the spouse. IMHO, the principle is "any sexual activity that divides a spouses affection for the other" on a continuing, irreconcilable basis.
IOW's, I don't think "fornication" is limited to having an affair.

I would not be dogmatic but IMO abandonment could include abuse or alienation of affection if done on a continuing, irreconcilable basis.

Neither of these reasons should be abused or claimed without a clear, unrepentant pattern. If a husband is just looking for a reason, he can't just say, "She flirted with an old boyfriend" then use that as a justification to chase a new woman.
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I agree with this.
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#54
#54
sadly i've seen religion encourage many people to marry at a young age who probably should have waited. all because they wanted to bang. all currently seem very unhappy. rather silly.
 
#55
#55
droski said:
sadly i've seen religion encourage many people to marry at a young age who probably should have waited. all because they wanted to bang. all currently seem very unhappy. rather silly.
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I've seen that too. I've seen people get married BECAUSE they banged and had a bun in the oven, to the same effect.
 
#56
#56
yup. my wife's couisin just did this. she's 17, he's 20 with no job or college education. hard to imagine this will end well.
 
#57
#57
PandamoniumReigns said:
Scripture please? And if you are referring to the Old Testament/Mosaic Law - You do realize we are no longer bound by the Mosaic Law? Although many of it principles are still in use and are good to live by, the Mosaic Law was abolished when Jesus instituted the Christian Congregation during his time on earth.
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Not referring to the old testament. Try reading 1 Corinthians 7:15
 
#60
#60
Had a similar conversation with a firend of mine the other day and we started counting up the number of marriages amongst our friends that we had seen fail versus the number that succeeded.

It was basically 50-50.
 
#61
#61
lawgator1 said:
Had a similar conversation with a firend of mine the other day and we started counting up the number of marriages amongst our friends that we had seen fail versus the number that succeeded.

It was basically 50-50.
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i saw a study once that said that if you take out the number of repeat offendors that the divorce rate falls considerably. i.e. serial divorcers skew the statistic.
 
#62
#62
droski said:
i saw a study once that said that if you take out the number of repeat offendors that the divorce rate falls considerably. i.e. serial divorcers skew the statistic.
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It always surprises me when I meet someone who is in their early 30's and they've been married 3 times. They've either got horrid luck, some major demons that surface only once married, or they are impulsive and afraid to be alone.
 
#63
#63
lawgator1 said:
It always surprises me when I meet someone who is in their early 30's and they've been married 3 times. They've either got horrid luck, some major demons that surface only once married, or they are impulsive and afraid to be alone.
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Most often the last one.
 
#64
#64
yeah, the majority of people that I know who have divorced have done it a couple times.
 
#65
#65
A lot of people cut and run at the first sign of hardships. Many people don't understand commitment. Everything in our culture is disposable. If you don't like something, just dump it and seek something potentially better. Marriage becomes no different than a job, home, car, pet, etc. in many people's minds.
 
#66
#66
lawgator1 said:
It always surprises me when I meet someone who is in their early 30's and they've been married 3 times. They've either got horrid luck, some major demons that surface only once married, or they are impulsive and afraid to be alone.
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one of my buddies dad has been married 5 times. i just met the new fiance whom he only met 6 months prior. let's just say i'm not surprised he's been divorced. she was trash with a capital t.
 
#67
#67
IPorange said:
I've seen that too. I've seen people get married BECAUSE they banged and had a bun in the oven, to the same effect.
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droski said:
sadly i've seen religion encourage many people to marry at a young age who probably should have waited. all because they wanted to bang. all currently seem very unhappy. rather silly.
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While I agree neither of these are the best reasons for getting married, it would be interesting to know if the corresponding divorce rates are any different than national averages.

lawgator1 said:
It always surprises me when I meet someone who is in their early 30's and they've been married 3 times. They've either got horrid luck, some major demons that surface only once married, or they are impulsive and afraid to be alone.
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It's not a reason for divorce, but a common thread amongst many divorces (especially those who have multiple) is selfishness among one or both parties. Some people go into a marriage (or relationship) with the perspective of "what's in it for me" and/or "will I be better off?" Selfishness leads to inconsideration, which leads to no respect for the other individual, which breeds unhappiness, which leads to finding happiness elsewhere, which often leads to divorce.
 
#70
#70
IBlvNTmWrk said:
While I agree neither of these are the best reasons for getting married, it would be interesting to know if the corresponding divorce rates are any different than national averages.
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well you'd imagine they might be more likely to not get divorced for religious reasons as well. but i have seen stats that say younger couples are much more likely to get divorced.
 
#72
#72
If I were to ever get divorced, I can't see myself getting married again...at least not until I am 50-60 years old, just so I won't retire alone. I don't see it as a problem I need to worry about though.
 
#73
#73
T-TownVol said:
There are none.
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Well let's say you spent a wild weekend in Vegas and end up in one of those little marriage chapels but the next morning you wake up and find out your new girlfriend isn't really a girl, would that be grounds?

Probably not in San Francisco but say anywhere else?
 
#74
#74
gsvol said:
Well let's say you spent a wild weekend in Vegas and end up in one of those little marriage chapels but the next morning you wake up and find out your new girlfriend isn't really a girl, would that be grounds?

Probably not in San Francisco but say anywhere else?
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I think misrepresentation of gender is a given as far as a reason for divorce. But that's just me.
 
#75
#75
From Biblical reasoning I will give you three -

1. Adultery
2. Abandonment as it was called
3. Abuse - which while not explicitly mentioned in the NT I would surmise is the same as #2 in principle.

Even in 80- 90 pct of cases I would not say it is legitimate if the couple did not try to reconcile and work through it or in the case of 2 the abandoned spouse tried to work it out.

I also do not agree with the "get married to bang" philosophy as well. I know several couples who got married for that sole reason when everyone in the world tried to tell them not to and it ended in a bitter divorce.
 
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