What are legitimate reasons for divorce?

#76
#76
Can some of you more biblically knowledgeable break down abandonment for me? What constitutes abandonment? Seems like there is some gray area there.
 
#77
#77
IPorange said:
Can some of you more biblically knowledgeable break down abandonment for me? What constitutes abandonment? Seems like there is some gray area there.
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Husband walks in one day and says "I don't want to be married anymore".

IMO the wife in this situation still has a responsibility to TRY to work it out, but if the husband just doesn't want to reconcile then there is nothing that can be done about it. The wife is this scenario has not sinned IMO if she gets remarried.

One spouse may become a believer in the marriage and the other wants nothing to do with it and leaves.
 
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#78
#78
tigervol9802 said:
Husband walks in one day and says "I don't want to be married anymore".

IMO the wife in this situation still has a responsibility to TRY to work it out, but if the husband just doesn't want to reconcile then there is nothing that can be done about it. The wife is this scenario has not sinned IMO if she gets remarried.

One spouse may become a believer in the marriage and the other wants nothing to do with it and leaves.
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What if spouse A thinks there are major issues in the marriage that need to be worked on, and spouse B refuses to work on anything, to the point of ignoring spouse A altogether? Is this the same thing, or must spouse A just stay in the empty marriage?
 
#80
#80
IPorange said:
What if spouse A thinks there are major issues in the marriage that need to be worked on, and spouse B refuses to work on anything, to the point of ignoring spouse A altogether? Is this the same thing, or must spouse A just stay in the empty marriage?
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Spouse A should be looking for spouse C.:)
 
#82
#82
IPorange said:
What if spouse A thinks there are major issues in the marriage that need to be worked on, and spouse B refuses to work on anything, to the point of ignoring spouse A altogether? Is this the same thing, or must spouse A just stay in the empty marriage?
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I'd say that would probably qualify. If spouse A is doing all they can and spouse B won't budge then IMO spouse B has divorced spouse A in all areas other than legally anyway.
 
#83
#83
kptvol said:
Weight gain
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One of my wife's friends put on at least 75 lbs during her first 2 years of marriage. She blamed it on the Pill. I said, "Dang! How many calories can they pack in those little things?" She was offended.
 
#85
#85
I do believe people throw in the towel way earlier than they should.

To me morally speaking is cheating and beating that's it. Now, with that said this is definitely a "nunya damn business" issue and I'd never comment or look down on someone who had been divorced for something other than the above mentioned two.

For me personally: even if i walked in on my wife in bed with another guy I'd still try to work it out (kids are 1 and 4) for them and bear it until they were old enough to operate with one parent at a time. I know everyone hates that but seriously I'm going to do what it takes to keep both parents under the same roof.

Also we both have a greed that divorce is not an option. Murder? Yes, but not divorce.
 
#87
#87
OrangeYankee said:
I do believe people throw in the towel way earlier than they should.
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I actually believe people don't throw in the towel early enough. Many issues are there before the marriage but are ignored for some reason. Most are probably scared of the unknown and figure it will get better once they're married. Others are like me, cut it off and move 2500 miles away to make sure you don't fall back into the same rut. At least I know my way works :p
 
#88
#88
LOL yes, people do tend to rush in. And that is a huge problem. Pre marriage counseling is a must in my mind and if the counselor/pastor says "It ain't gonna work" you may want to listen.

On the other hand, I'm not sure I agree with shacking up with each other. I may be old fashioned but when a couple lives with each other for over 3-5 years... dontcha think you'd have found a problem by then?
 
#90
#90
116014739911581_352224_the_cankles_1.jpg
 
#91
#91
IPorange said:
Can some of you more biblically knowledgeable break down abandonment for me? What constitutes abandonment? Seems like there is some gray area there.
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Because so many homes in Corinth were comprised of one believing spouse and one pagan spouse, Paul was confronted with a problem. The unbelieving spouse would often reject the believing spouse.

The question then arose as to whether those believers could re-marry. Paul's answer was that if an unbelieving spouse would live with the believer then the believer should stay with them. If not and a divorce occurred, the believer was no longer under bondage.

In my personal opinion, there is some "gray area" that would allow for a separation for abuse. The responsibility would then lie with the abuser to reconcile the relationship or "abandon" the relationship.

The principle thing is that the believer is NOT supposed to be the initiator or cause for the divorce. They are to be forgiving and conciliatory.


If I read your OP correctly, you are referring to two believers.

The only justification for divorce between believers is unrepentant fornication.
 
#93
#93
That is your prerogative.

You mentioned the "too young to marry" idea earlier.

The formula for a successful, Bible based marriage is pretty straight forward and is not dependent on any circumstance to include age. The husband is to love sacrificially... love his wife more than his own body and in denial of his own wants and needs. The woman is to love her husband submissively in denial of her own wants and needs.

50/50 marriages are ALWAYS doomed to fail. Both spouses must devote themselves 100% to serving and loving the other. That is how two "D" grade spouses can still put a grade "A" marriage together.
 
#94
#94
Biblically speaking, the scripture addresses this quite frankly. The lone scriptural reason for divorce is adultery. But, it goes a step beyond. In that situation it also states that if a non-believer is married to a believer, the believer should not divorce the non-beleiver if they choose to remain married, but if the non-believer chooses to leave, the believer is not bound to remain married. The scriptures also adresses remarriage. If, in the case of adultery, the innocent party is free to remarry, but only in the Lord. Meaning, the second time around, the innocent party should re-marry a believer in the faith. A situation that is recommended, but not admonished for a first marriage, as it teaches that a person must consider to remain married to a non-believer because you do not know if that influence would cause them to become a believer. The Bible also teaches that the adulterer, if remarried would live in sin, as would the person marrying them. Now, would I fault someone for divorcing an abusive partner, or someone that has gone to prison for malicous crimes. No. But, the remarrige portion according to scripture would need to be closely studied by that person. A much more delicate situation. To play devils advocate, the bible also states not to defile the bed less you cause your spouse to be tempted. So, if one cheats on the other because of a refusal to have sexual relationship, then who technically has broken the laws. Either one? Both? Alot of this can be found in the Gospels, especially Matthew, and in the 7th chapter of 1st Cor. incase I mis-paraphrased.
 
#95
#95
sjt18 said:
Because so many homes in Corinth were comprised of one believing spouse and one pagan spouse, Paul was confronted with a problem. The unbelieving spouse would often reject the believing spouse.

The question then arose as to whether those believers could re-marry. Paul's answer was that if an unbelieving spouse would live with the believer then the believer should stay with them. If not and a divorce occurred, the believer was no longer under bondage.

In my personal opinion, there is some "gray area" that would allow for a separation for abuse. The responsibility would then lie with the abuser to reconcile the relationship or "abandon" the relationship.

The principle thing is that the believer is NOT supposed to be the initiator or cause for the divorce. They are to be forgiving and conciliatory.


If I read your OP correctly, you are referring to two believers.

The only justification for divorce between believers is unrepentant fornication.
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I agree, as I think you accurately quoted scripture here, and didn't read this far before my posting above. My gray area in my studies is that Paul did address the non-believer parting and the believer not under bondage in that case. However, he does not encroach on the idea of re-marriage in this situation, as in Matthew Christ states that the only scriptural basis for divorce resulting in remarriage is adultery. Not being under bondage to me says the believer is free to accept the divorce if the non-believer leaves, but does not address remarriage there. He does not circumvent th teaching of Christ on divorce and remarriage in the Gospels.
 
#96
#96
T-TownVol said:
There are none.
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Why, exactly?

Just tossing a scenario at you... chick marries dream dude. just 24 hours after the ceremony, dude reveals his ugly side, slaps the woman around a bit, and basically turns into the complete opposite of who she thought she married.

What does chick do?

Also, no two people who aren't happy with each other after marrying at a young age deserve a lifetime of unhappiness. Marriage and divorce should be governed by the parties involved and no one else.
 
#97
#97
GVF said:
However, he does not encroach on the idea of re-marriage in this situation, as in Matthew Christ states that the only scriptural basis for divorce resulting in remarriage is adultery. Not being under bondage to me says the believer is free to accept the divorce if the non-believer leaves, but does not address remarriage there. .
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Agree to disagree I suppose. I believe that "not under bondage" specifically addresses the bond of marriage.
 
#98
#98
sjt18 said:
That is your prerogative.

You mentioned the "too young to marry" idea earlier.

The formula for a successful, Bible based marriage is pretty straight forward and is not dependent on any circumstance to include age. The husband is to love sacrificially... love his wife more than his own body and in denial of his own wants and needs. The woman is to love her husband submissively in denial of her own wants and needs.

50/50 marriages are ALWAYS doomed to fail. Both spouses must devote themselves 100% to serving and loving the other. That is how two "D" grade spouses can still put a grade "A" marriage together.
Click to expand...

what you mentioned has nothing to do with the bible
 
#99
#99
droski said:
what you mentioned has nothing to do with the bible
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What he mentioned came straight from the bible.

Touch a green link to view the entire chapter
Eph 5:22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body.
Eph 5:24 But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it;
Eph 5:28 Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.
Eph 5:31 "For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will be joined to his wife. The two will become one flesh." {Genesis 2:24}
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
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