I saw this on TOS and for some reason got a laugh out of it..
Ring Ring Ring
Voice: Hello?
Lane: May I speak with Todd, I mean Jake please?
Voice: This is Jake, Who is this?
Lane: Hey Jake, its Coach Kiffin from Tennessee. How you doin?
Jake: I'm doin well coach just ate some manwich and about to Madden 2009 on my Nintendo DS
Lane: Sounds good sounds good. So, hey. I am calling to let you know that we are no longer recruiting you.
Jake: Coach, I don't understand! (bites into thin mint nervously)
Lane: The Rivals.Com 100 Top Players just came out and you're not on it. Here at Tennessee we only want elite players.
Jake: But Coach what about when you told me Crompton, Coleman, or Stephens couldnt hold my jock?
Lane: That is true. Crompton is too busy trimming his mustache, Stephens has is wrist in a cast, and BJ, well if you ever wanna have kids... Plus, Jake here at Tennessee we don't do that kind of thing. I have heard rumors of weekend rendezvous in Memphis. I believe you should look for a tennesseestud? Don't quote me on that though. And Mr. Heaps, if jock holding is your thing you may want to give Coach Urban Meyer and Timmy Tebow a call.
Jake: You are going to regret this coach. I am going to make you wish you had never insulted me and my family.
Lane: Jake, I wish you the best in whatever you do.
Jake: Oh you're going to pay.
Lane: Gotta go now. Have a good day.
Jake: (whimpers)
Lane: Before I go...I'll be seeing you around. I am headed to the Full Service gas Pump to see Alshon, and I will swing by Starbucks so you can fill my mocha. Cool? *Hangs Up*