"The teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina. I said Washington, D.C. She said 'No, you're wrong.' I said 'You got a lumpy butt.' She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants and I never did change my pee-pants all day. I'm still sittin' in my dirty pee-pants."
"You don't understand. You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. You don't understand freedom. So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell! You hear me?"
"Well, let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders. I am too drunk to taste this chicken".
"Okay. Dear 8 pound, 6 ounce newborn infant Jesus, dont even know a word yet, just a little infant and so cuddly, but still omnipotent, we just thank you for all the races Ive won and the 21.2 million dollars woo! (the rest of the family says woo too) love that money, that I have accrued over this past season. Also, due to a binding endorsement contract that stipulates I mention Powerade at each grace, I just want to say that Powerade is delicious and it cools you off on a hot summer day. And we look forward to Powerades release of Mystic Mountain Blueberry. Thank you for all your power and your grace, dear baby God. Amen."
Movie was eh to me, but had some of the funnier quotes.