Recruiting Forum Football Talk V

Status
Not open for further replies.
#42,355
#42,355
jave36 said:
I mean if the goal of the message board was a clear and reasonable understanding of the situation, or if a message board had any actual bearing on the outcome of the case, your caution would be appropriate.

But I think you're casting pearls, lol
Click to expand...

I didn’t state it because it has any bearing. I stated it because society loves to jump to conclusions. If you truly don’t care about a “clear and reasonable understanding,” then have at it. I will sit on the sidelines if people don’t want it all clarified.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SweetasSoda, UTJoe, Orange. and 2 others
#42,356
#42,356
  • Like
Reactions: franklinpence, Scvol7906, beneVOLence and 7 others
#42,359
#42,359
VolGee4 said:
I’m going to be very careful with this, but after 17 years as an attorney, the affidavits and any reports are never really the full story. Sometimes it’s worse, sometimes it’s better. There are two sides of a situation like this. I know this is a message board, but I would caution folks to speculate.
Click to expand...
Well said. I’ve been waiting for you to comment. I knew you would be a better representative of the law than a lot of our self appointed law experts on here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DarthVol1, Hardy, Rishvol and 2 others
#42,360
#42,360
SpringBokVol said:
This is a good matchup for us.

Good on hood and ours is better. More explosive.

Stop Gibbs. Contain BY. Get pressure.

OL gives Hooker time and he will light them up. I feel a couple of busted assignments Front the Bama DBs and Nicks head will explode.
Click to expand...
I would bet a grand Nick will be dik riding those officials to have offensive pass interferance called on us. Bru and Cedric/ Ramel need a big game this week.
 
#42,365
#42,365
drvenner said:
Not sure if this is a true story about self-tasering or not, but it is pretty dang funny. Long read, but worth it.

WARNING FOR ALL MALES FROM ME
Last weekend I saw something at The Gun Show that sparked my interest. I was looking for a little something different for my wife Dana. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Dana what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Leo looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Leo (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. He is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a singlet with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.
The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, the cat looking on with his head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
· My bent reading glasses were on the top of the TV.
· The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
· My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
· My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
· I had no control over the drooling.
· Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
· I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!
Click to expand...

I'm literally crying. So much better than the LSU corndog story. This needs to be bumped often.
 
  • Like
Reactions: gainesvol82, hooter vol, Big151Orange and 8 others
#42,366
#42,366
311454709_5706170552780630_855999433411381095_n.jpg
 
  • Like
Reactions: SmokinBob, LadyVolette, captainfalcon777 and 30 others
#42,369
#42,369
TheRain said:
Click to expand...


Here’s the thing. IDGAF is TN wins by 1 when the refs tackle the Bama guy about to score a game winning touchdown and they’re on their 4th string QB.

I’ll take the win 7 days a week and laugh about any post game conversation because **** em we’re 6-0 and the number one team in the country
 
  • Like
Reactions: CurtWatson31, zhangliao04, TheRain and 11 others
#42,374
#42,374
tnhunter 10 said:
From the comment section. Can we say delusional? I hope Beamer loses the rest of his game this yr.
View attachment 499006
Click to expand...
ZERO P5 wins against a starting QB.

I'd be so embarrassed to say that smh. You beat a bum backup qb...by 10...and that's your lone P5 win 😆

20.3 ppg vs P5 opponents 😄 almost half of ours 😆
 
  • Like
Reactions: Scvol7906, Volunteer821, SweetasSoda and 2 others
New posts
Status
Not open for further replies.

VN Store



Back
Top