Well, he will fit right in. Hes accustomed to taking money to play ball.
:lolabove:
Looking ahead to 2100, here are some of the more notable news items of the century:
Hell freezes over; global-warming deniers exploit incident to mislead public.
Terror trial in New York ends in guilty verdict to America; Khalid Sheikh Mohammed T-shirts outsell Che Guevara by 300%.
Nobel Peace prize awarded posthumously to Neville Chamberlain; 'only now is his genius apparent,' says Committee.
Climate hasn't officially changed since 2008 election of Obama, but experts promise imminent catastrophes if Democrat is not elected next year.
UN votes to restore Pluto to planet status; industrialized countries to send reparations and humanitarian supply of own air proportionally to GDP.
Harvard researchers find new proof that national deficit of $500 trillion is Bush's fault.
Tax Dept. announces new tax on taxpayers who resist taxation on existing taxes.
Last living Republican succumbs to euthanasia; few even remember the name of outlawed party in post-political era beyond 2030.
India's consumers annoyed by broken Hindi spoken at US-based call assistance centers.
Hollywood studios: John Wayne, Gary Cooper, and Humphrey Bogart to be airbrushed out of all movies and replaced by Matt Damon, George Clooney, and Denzel Washington.
Microsoft releases Windows 2100 to fix bugs found in Windows 2099, 2098, 2097, and 2096.
Public education reaches important milestone as all New York schools report 100% identical test scores in reading, writing, and arithmetic.
Male silverback gorilla elected to serve on PETA board of directors; feminist gorillas resign in protest.
Britain outlaws use of the word 'Britain' as jingoistic and discriminatory toward militant minorities.
US Supreme Court declares 1st Amendment unconstitutional because 'it was enacted without input from minorities in violation of the Equal Protection clause of the 14th Amendment'.
National Endowment for the Arts awards first prize to sculpture of US Constitution in bucket of urine.
New Yorks Metropolitan Museum bans all works on canvas as 'offensive to canvas-less cultures' and 'inimical to progressive modes of thought'.
Dan Brown publishes new installment of The Obama Code , in which Tom Hanks discovers that Barack Obamas mother was African-American and her alleged 'whiteness' was a ploy concocted later by Fox News revisionists.
Man gets 10 years hard labor for starting a business in competition with government services.
Bethesda, Maryland community welcomes new 1,000-acre palatial complex to house the 89 czars and their 800,000 staff members.
It's Ramadan time and British Prime Minister Jacqui Smith once again prepares to be raped in the House of Lords by Muslim peers as a manifestation of their grievances.
Iceland declared pariah nation for failure to live up to UN racial diversity standards.
As Iran resumes missile bombardment of European cities, EU intensifies pressure on Israel to dismantle settlements
White House: Air Force prepared to nuke random American city to show Iran were serious about peace.
Airlines show profit as crashes with affirmative-action pilots down 20% from last decade.
Native population of Paris grows from 8 to 9 percent; chief imam of France warns of Muslim backlash.
Junior school teacher found guilty of abuse for failing to educate students on dangers posed by heterosexual relations between consenting adults.
Code Pink denounces Stalin as 'insufficiently progressive' due to 'lack of interest in the plight of the transgendered'.
Court faces hate-crime quandary as Hispanic teen attacks gay man protesting construction of mosque.
Former CEOs of tobacco companies executed; hunt is on for mayonnaise manufacturers.
Chicago Olympics threatened by advancing glaciers; police round up local global-warming deniers as a preventive measure.
60-member Congressional Muslim Caucus sets new time record of 'uninterrupted seething' by remaining in this state for a period of three months.
Court rules to dismantle US beef industry, convert barns and pens into rest homes for elderly cows, bulls, and the transbovined. (I kept a stratight face as long as I could but dammit boy, I had to laugh at that one.)
Northern Minnesota community refuses to accept Maoist history textbook; National Security battalion moves in to restore tolerance.
Necrophiliacs demand marriage rights; gravediggers union threatens walkout.
First transgendered mute paraplegic pygmy to win Miss America.
Rhode Island converted into wind farm; new electricity generated is expected to serve all of Cape Cod.
Eight year-old boy faces charges of violating the Childrens Civil Rights Act of 2016 for failing to meet diversity quotas in playground game.
CIA under fire for forcing prisoner to spend eight hours in hotel room with no Internet service.
Sixty Minutes reveals: Winston Churchill was illegitimate child of English mother and Kenyan alcoholic father.
Quarterback suspended from NFL for fondling his female center.
Vermont court outlaws construction boots as offensive to women and minorities.
Congress fills healthcare budget gaps by selling all 'unnecessarily complicated' medical equipment to Burkina Faso.
Embittered by divorce, Nobel Committee Chair Barack Obama threatens to retract all ten of Michelle Obamas Nobel Peace prizes.
Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History.