Ask Ron Mexico Anything, Except For Life Advice

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#828
#828
My kitchen looks like a category 4 hurricane just blasted it. Should I clean it tonight or wait until tomorrow morning?
 
#829
#829
Behr1213 said:
My kitchen looks like a category 4 hurricane just blasted it. Should I clean it tonight or wait until tomorrow morning?
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You should get a female companion. Either she cleans the kitchen for you or it will be a long sleeved turtleneck Christmas for her. Just tell everyone she fell.
 
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#834
#834
theFallGuy said:
Ron

where can I find a good party on a Friday full of 23 year old women?
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That seems like a really specific request. I can recommend a few places that will have young women in their early to mid twenties with a questionable moral compass. If that's what your looking for, pretty much anywhere on Cumberland Ave.
 
#839
#839
DD4ME said:
Ron.

What's the best way to fake excitement for a suck A gift?
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Put a needle in your underwear positioned so that it will poke you in the taint when you need it to. This should produce a tearful response. If you say "thank you, I love it" while tears are streaming down your face, you will be believed.
 
#840
#840
The Ron Mexico said:
No, I make her dress like a Russian prostitute on holidays. Complete with the accent and vodka on her breath.
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#844
#844
theFallGuy said:
Ron,

Do you have NYE plans/
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Yes, but I don't want to get into the specific plans. I just give a few details and you can let your mind run wild.

The ingredients for a great NYE:

a VHS copy of Smoky and the Bandit 1,2, and 3
virgin margarita mix
a home pregnancy test
8 quarts of motor oil
the blood of a virgin
4 gay guys
2:1 ratio of women to men
diapers
lots of sandwich bags
4- 50 gallon drums filled with Zima
1 Ron Mexico
 
#845
#845
wow, sounds incredible. How did you find Zima? I thought they quite making it.

zomething zifferent
 
#847
#847
Ron,
I want to apologize for misquoting you in the football forum. I hope the emotional stress from my posts did not cause you much agony. Coach DD is here for at least another year. Support the Vols and DD till then.
Respectfully,
3*

Two business days....sent
 
#848
#848
MY3*CANBEATUPUR5* said:
Ron,
I want to apologize for misquoting you in the football forum. I hope the emotional stress from my posts did not cause you much agony. Coach DD is here for at least another year. Support the Vols and DD till then.
Respectfully,
3*

Two business days....sent
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Not only are you forgiven, but you have achieved preferred poster status. For the rest of your days on VN you will enjoy living under the umbrella of protection of the zonetards.
 
#849
#849
Allsome ...Happy New Year! Good luck with the Zima barrels might want to get some Jolly ranchers..I'm sure you know this though.:good!: Toodles
 
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